I think both of these issues point to an issue with your flour being too coarse, so trying to find a finer sifter would be a starting point. In another post, you asked about this, and I had a couple thoughts I posted there.
Thanks, Ashley! Just responded to your other post. My second batch was finer, and the pancakes weren't gritty--but they still fall apart. Going to tweak the recipe a bit. :)